


Those Damn Flowers

by forthegreatergood



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 20:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8072431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forthegreatergood/pseuds/forthegreatergood
Summary: A coda to IOU.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Khashana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khashana/gifts), [Elf (Elfwreck)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/gifts).



> All characters property of Marvel.
> 
> Not beta-read. Please post any noticed errors in the comments, and they'll get fixed.

“Tony? Do you have a sec?” Pepper called, her tone telling him that he’d better have several. Tony tasted the sauce one more time, then turned the flame on the burner down and covered the pan.

“Sure thing, babe, what’s up?” he asked, poking his head into the dining room. He raised his eyebrows at the small pile of paperwork in front of her. “I thought we agreed to leave business at the office tonight.”

“This is personal,” she said, smiling that small, thin smile that meant she was trying to remember why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place. He wasn’t sure what it said about him that it always reminded him of just how heart-stoppingly beautiful she was. “Is there a reason you spent almost five thousand dollars on roses this month?”

Tony coughed and cleared his throat. “Is there, uh, a reason you’re going through my credit card statements?”

“We got a framed portrait delivered yesterday,” Pepper told him, pushing her hair out of her face. “Every last one of Senator Stern’s interns, looking like they’d just been promised a trip to Disneyland and standing in front of an avalanche of pink roses spilling out the door to his office.”

“Well, you know, kids these days,” Tony hedged, tugging at his collar. He’d counted on Stern being just as big a jerk to his underlings as he was to everyone else when he’d ordered the delivery. He hadn’t counted on them being that grateful for the chance to carpet-bomb Stern’s office with ostensible gifts. “It’s probably a meme or something.”

“Tony.”

“I did actually look into it, and just buying the flowers did turn out to be cheaper than buying a florist’s shop,” he said quickly. “This was, in fact, the more frugal of the two options.”

“You’re dripping cacciatore on the floor, Tony,” she sighed, pointing to the spoon still in his hand.

“Oh. Damn it,” Tony said, scurrying back to the stove. “Hang on. I do have an explanation for this, and yes, it does make sense, and no, it won’t make you make the face at me.”

“I don’t make faces at you,” she protested, raising her voice so he could still hear her in the kitchen.

He checked the sauce again, then turned the heat down a tick more and grabbed a towel. “You do when you’re disappointed.”

“I’m not disappointed, I’m just very confused.”

“That’s what you always say when you’re disappointed,” he pointed out, wiping the spatters off the hardwood floor. “You remember the Twitter Incident?”

“Because you need a comparison between this and something I was definitely disappointed over, or because this current incident ties into you calling Stern an ass in public?” she asked.

“Um.” Tony puffed his cheeks. Bringing that up had been a miscalculation. “In my defense, he is an ass.”

“He’s very much an ass, but you’re an Avenger now,” Pepper said, shaking her head. “There are certain opinions that you have to sit on until you’re in an appropriate venue, like a private fundraiser where he’s hitting you up for money for some sleazy project he’s backing.”

“But I never get invited to those anymore,” he said. “It’s like he knows I’m only going to show up so I can bag on him in front of all of his congress-friends.”

“You had an explanation for this?” she prompted.

“Promise you’re not going to make the face at me?” he asked, folding his hands in front of his chest and giving her his best puppy-dog eyes.

“If you don’t start explaining in the next thirty seconds, I will definitely be making a face at you,” she said firmly, holding up the credit card statement. “How did they even get five grand worth of roses into one room?”

“Very carefully and with lots of teamwork, is my understanding,” Tony chuckled. She straightened, her eyes widening slightly, and he sighed. “Can we just take a second and contemplate the fact that Stern was instrumental in Hammer getting to fly Rhodey around like a toy helicopter and both of us almost getting blown up by a guy with genuinely questionable taste in tattoos? And that while there’s a cap on how much I can contribute to his opponent in the upcoming election without being a quote-unquote ‘corporate douchelord,’ there isn’t a cap on how much I can spend making him miserable in really petty ways?”

Pepper crossed her arms and waited, and Tony wilted under her questioning gaze.

“Okay, so you know how I accidentally kind of hit on Clint after that dust-up with those big robots?”

“Yes,” Pepper said slowly, her eyes narrowing. “Did you ever get him that replacement bow?”

“Not yet, but I think he’s been a little distracted lately, so he probably hasn’t even noticed,” he said quickly. “But the thing is that there was another sort of, uh, let’s call it an _event_ with a flower delivery while Cho was still reliving her glory days out on the range and ignoring science.”

Pepper scanned the statement again, and Tony made a noise.

“I had nothing to do with it!” he told her. She raised her eyebrows, and he shifted his weight uneasily. “At first. I really didn’t, I promise. But then it sort of mushroomed, and because I am a good friend who really does regret the unexpected delays on the new bow, I took the fall for it.”

“Okay. And then?”

“And then me giving people roses took on a sort of greater social significance than maybe it should have, strictly speaking?” He shot her a hopeful smile. “Which you have to admit is pretty hilarious.”

Pepper set the statement down and leaned back in her chair, looking suddenly horrified.

“Or at least, you have to admit it’s kind of funny?” Tony tried again, his brows furrowing. Her reaction seemed a little ominous, and at least an order of magnitude worse than he’d expected.

“Tony, do you remember when you were stuck in Tokyo trying to tie up that IP suit against Alchemax? And you specifically asked me to go to Sharon’s promotion party for you, so she wouldn’t think you were blowing it off?” Pepper asked quietly, kneading her temples.

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I remember?” he said. “It was just last week.”

“At any point during that half-hour conversation revisiting how wise it is to have Stark Industries be so closely associated with SHIELD personnel or Avengers business, or how nice it would be to have at least a few friends who don’t know five ways to kill a man with a paperclip, that we had before I agreed to go on your behalf, did it occur to you to mention that I shouldn’t be buying congratulatory roses for people we don’t want to immediately send to DEFCON 1?”

Tony bit his lip. “You didn’t.”

“Of course I did!” she burst out, running her fingers through her hair. “Sharon made the Avengers--”

“Technically she’s a pinch-hitter for the Avengers.”

“--with no powers, at twenty-six!” Pepper said defensively. “If there’s ever an occasion for an open bar and an enormous bouquet, that’s it!”

“So…”

“Every last agent in the room looked like I’d whipped out a live grenade,” Pepper groaned. “And then I said--”

“No,” Tony said, trying to smother his laughter. He couldn’t believe there was more. He was going to be sleeping on the couch for a week over this. Pepper glared at him.

“--I said, ‘Tony sends his regards,’” she continued.

“Oh my god,” he breathed, tears pricking his eyes. Pepper would never forgive him if he lost it now.

“And I might as well have pulled the pin and thrown a live grenade and-- _are you laughing_?”

He hugged his aching sides and leaned against the wall. “I’m sorry, babe, but you have to admit that was perfect.”

“I ruined Sharon’s party because you couldn’t find two seconds to send me a text warning me that you’re one step closer to being Dr. Doom,” she snapped. “It’s the opposite of perfect!”

“You even…” He stopped and tried to catch his breath. “You even Game-of-Thronesed it. ‘Tony sends his regards.’ Do you have any idea what I’d have given to see the looks on everyone’s faces when you said that?”

Pepper crossed her arms and scowled, and he finally subsided.

“I’m sorry, Pep. I really am,” he managed. “Next time something like this happens, I promise I’ll write you a memo or something.”

He straightened up and wiped his eyes, then held out his hand. 

“Come on. Let’s devein some shrimp, throw on some fettuccini, and eat like kings. What movie you want to watch with dinner?”

“Ten Things I Hate About You,” she grunted, getting to her feet. “And you’re deveining the shrimp.”

Tony hugged her gently and kissed her forehead. “I will devein the shrimp, and I promise you that you did not ruin Sharon’s party. Phil probably swooped in as soon as you handed the flowers off and doused the fire. Everything is fine, and someday in a month or two you’re gonna look back on this and realize that it _was_ really funny.”

“No more roses, Tony,” she said firmly, leading him back to the kitchen.

“No more roses,” he agreed, squeezing her hand.


End file.
